Hey everyone! Just a quick reminder that we're running a charity auction over on the other blog. Let me know if you need the link and I'll be happy to email it to you!
Thanks!!!
Heidi
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The next generation is WEIRD. Cute. Sweet. Super Awesome. But WEIRD
I'm pretty sure that my kids were hatched on a spaceship somewhere and transplanted into my home. They do the most BIZARRE things.
Evidences #1, #2 and #3: Frugality
These kids are just plain strange. The first hint I had of this was when they begged me, BEGGED me to bring lunch from home. Huh? Yeah- I would have DIED to have school lunch when I was a kid. Warm bologna sammich and slightly-less-warm milk in my thermos? No THANK YOU. But no. MY kids want to take home lunch so badly that it almost reduces them to tears. And I know for a fact that school lunch isn't bad. It's not like mystery meat and lumpy potatoes with unidentifiable goo on them. They get GOOD lunches. Then, when we can't find their lunch boxes anywhere, do they say "Well, I guess we'll just have to have the pizza and chocolate milk the school is providing tomorrow"? No way, man. They said "It's okay. We'll just take it in a Wal-Mart bag. No big deal." Seriously. I am not even kidding you. I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Yeah. They're nuts.
Another proof that my kids are extra-terrestrials, posing and adorable blond children is this: Jake came home from school the other day with a big rip in the knee of his jeans. Of course I told him that if he was going to keep tearing up his jeans, he'd have to start buying his own. To which he replied, "Oh, it's okay mom. We can just patch it." WHAT?! You want to go out in public with patched denims?? I had to lie down for a bit after that.
Over Presidents Day weekend, we got up late one morning. The kids were trying to decide what to have for breakfast and settled on cold cereal- I've been making them eat heart-healthy oatmeal every morning... I think that's getting old. :) Anyway, *bad news* we didn't have any milk. So I offered freezer waffles instead. They weren't having any of THAT! I was promptly informed that they could just make do with CANNED MILK. No joke. Again, I would rather have gone without food ALL DAY, as a kid, than eat my cereal with reconstituted canned milk. Where have these kids come from???
Evidence #4: Diet
Aside from their now near-Pavlovian avoidance of oatmeal, I have never seen kids eat as healthy as mine, at least, not voluntarily*. They constantly have fruit in their hands (actually eating it). I try to keep a good on-hand supply of apples, oranges and bananas around, and if I ever run out... well, you'd think the world was coming to an end! And if I bring home "special" fruits- like clementines or grapes or *GASP* strawberries(!!!)- I'm nominated for Best Mom in the UNIVERSE. Smoothies are like the Nectar of the Gods. It's not just fruit either. I don't understand it, really. When I was a kid there were only 4 kinds of veggies I would eat (corn, peas, green beans and carrots) and even those would make me gag involuntarily. These kids FIGHT- yes, you read that right, they FIGHT- over who gets the last few pieces of broccoli or cauliflower in the bowl. You'd think it was brownie batter or something. They have SECONDS of salad, and only eat half their lasagna. Carrot sticks? They'll cart the bag all around the house munching on them and I find little orange bits in my bed, in the bathroom, under the couch cushions.
*This particular quirk, I'm afraid, does not apply to Spencer- only Jake, Aspen and Hannah. Spencer will only eat cheeseburgers, quesadillas, egg burritos and fruit snacks. He would go for DAYS without food (if I'd let him) rather than eat anything else. If you get anywhere near him with anything that was once a living plant, he runs screaming. Except for bananas and smoothies... he likes those. Even the promise of that dream-of-all-dreams (Sherbet Push-Ups) will not entice that child to eat anything else. I've resorted to sneaking healthier stuff into what he will eat, a la The Sneaky Chef. At least he likes chewable vitamins. If he didn't, I'd be in trouble. That kid is STUBBORN... I wonder where he gets that from...
Evidence #4: Cleanliness
Okay- so Spencer is the only one who seems to exhibit THIS particular trait, but it still seems weird. I used to have to chase my little brothers around with a garden hose and a bar of soap to get them clean. He'll just decide, AT LEAST once a day, that he needs a shower. He'll turn it on, get undressed and just hop right in. ALL BY HIMSELF (Obviously, I supervise him- just felt I should throw that out there.) without any coaxing from me. Clearly some kind of Vulcan personality flaw or something.
So. What do you think? Is this incontrovertible evidence that my kids are aliens or what? Where the heck is Mulder when you need him?
Evidences #1, #2 and #3: Frugality
These kids are just plain strange. The first hint I had of this was when they begged me, BEGGED me to bring lunch from home. Huh? Yeah- I would have DIED to have school lunch when I was a kid. Warm bologna sammich and slightly-less-warm milk in my thermos? No THANK YOU. But no. MY kids want to take home lunch so badly that it almost reduces them to tears. And I know for a fact that school lunch isn't bad. It's not like mystery meat and lumpy potatoes with unidentifiable goo on them. They get GOOD lunches. Then, when we can't find their lunch boxes anywhere, do they say "Well, I guess we'll just have to have the pizza and chocolate milk the school is providing tomorrow"? No way, man. They said "It's okay. We'll just take it in a Wal-Mart bag. No big deal." Seriously. I am not even kidding you. I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Yeah. They're nuts.
Another proof that my kids are extra-terrestrials, posing and adorable blond children is this: Jake came home from school the other day with a big rip in the knee of his jeans. Of course I told him that if he was going to keep tearing up his jeans, he'd have to start buying his own. To which he replied, "Oh, it's okay mom. We can just patch it." WHAT?! You want to go out in public with patched denims?? I had to lie down for a bit after that.
Over Presidents Day weekend, we got up late one morning. The kids were trying to decide what to have for breakfast and settled on cold cereal- I've been making them eat heart-healthy oatmeal every morning... I think that's getting old. :) Anyway, *bad news* we didn't have any milk. So I offered freezer waffles instead. They weren't having any of THAT! I was promptly informed that they could just make do with CANNED MILK. No joke. Again, I would rather have gone without food ALL DAY, as a kid, than eat my cereal with reconstituted canned milk. Where have these kids come from???
Evidence #4: Diet
Aside from their now near-Pavlovian avoidance of oatmeal, I have never seen kids eat as healthy as mine, at least, not voluntarily*. They constantly have fruit in their hands (actually eating it). I try to keep a good on-hand supply of apples, oranges and bananas around, and if I ever run out... well, you'd think the world was coming to an end! And if I bring home "special" fruits- like clementines or grapes or *GASP* strawberries(!!!)- I'm nominated for Best Mom in the UNIVERSE. Smoothies are like the Nectar of the Gods. It's not just fruit either. I don't understand it, really. When I was a kid there were only 4 kinds of veggies I would eat (corn, peas, green beans and carrots) and even those would make me gag involuntarily. These kids FIGHT- yes, you read that right, they FIGHT- over who gets the last few pieces of broccoli or cauliflower in the bowl. You'd think it was brownie batter or something. They have SECONDS of salad, and only eat half their lasagna. Carrot sticks? They'll cart the bag all around the house munching on them and I find little orange bits in my bed, in the bathroom, under the couch cushions.
*This particular quirk, I'm afraid, does not apply to Spencer- only Jake, Aspen and Hannah. Spencer will only eat cheeseburgers, quesadillas, egg burritos and fruit snacks. He would go for DAYS without food (if I'd let him) rather than eat anything else. If you get anywhere near him with anything that was once a living plant, he runs screaming. Except for bananas and smoothies... he likes those. Even the promise of that dream-of-all-dreams (Sherbet Push-Ups) will not entice that child to eat anything else. I've resorted to sneaking healthier stuff into what he will eat, a la The Sneaky Chef. At least he likes chewable vitamins. If he didn't, I'd be in trouble. That kid is STUBBORN... I wonder where he gets that from...
Evidence #4: Cleanliness
Okay- so Spencer is the only one who seems to exhibit THIS particular trait, but it still seems weird. I used to have to chase my little brothers around with a garden hose and a bar of soap to get them clean. He'll just decide, AT LEAST once a day, that he needs a shower. He'll turn it on, get undressed and just hop right in. ALL BY HIMSELF (Obviously, I supervise him- just felt I should throw that out there.) without any coaxing from me. Clearly some kind of Vulcan personality flaw or something.
So. What do you think? Is this incontrovertible evidence that my kids are aliens or what? Where the heck is Mulder when you need him?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
HAHAHAHAHAHA..... AHAHAHA!
Ever get one of those scam emails from Nigeria? Check this out:
Congratulations: URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED - Payment Notification of your UNCLAIMED STIMULUS by Ernie MannixCongratulation:
FROM: MOST HONORABLE SPEAKOR PELOSI + ALL CONGRESS
MINSTERS FINANCIAL - WASHINGTON DC
CAPITOL BUILDING
WASHINTON DC
AMERICA
TO: ALL HONARABLE NOBLE CITIZANS OF AMERICA
RE: YOUR UNCLAIMED STIMULUS
CONGRATUALTION! On this honorable day for us, we beeseech you for the favor of your reply in kind. The time is now for your urgent action to be taken for the securing your stimulus wealth. I am mandated to make this acknowledgement officially to you by the powers and CHANGE imposed on me.
For years we make the genorous payments for anyone in our country and so many of the peoples of the world. At this great time of joy for our America, we want to be sure you get yours.
IT IS WITH HAPPYNES make this offering for the greatness of our Hope/changed future. During the last financial records/audits conducted with bad last President. All went into pool of darkness. Now with new Hope Change President in the year 2009 and by the HONARABLE CONGRESS PEOPLE, we find you need some STIMULUS Happyness.
ON OR BEFORE APRIL 15 2009, please to file your correct information needed to secure your STIMULATION. KINDLY FORWARD THE FOLLOWING FOR TAX RECOMFIRMATION:
1) Your full name and ID #……….
2) All you childrens 529 plans # (however diminished)
3) Your 401K account # (However destroyed)
4) Phone, fax and mobile #……………
5) Former Company name, position and address…………..
6) Former Profession, age and marital status………………
7) Unemployment check amount………………..
7a) Foreclosed Mortgage account info
9) (Califorina only) I.O.U. TAX REBATE number.
10) Cobra Heathcare acct #
As soon as the above information are received, your payment will be Made available to you via an international (UPhishS) courier delivery in voucher for promises which will Be delivered to your doorstep for your confirmation or via CSPAN. Your urgent response to this mail will help facilitate the onward conclussion of this transaction without and further delays.
In case, I sincerely apologies for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences that we might have indulge you through the next 4 years. HOWEVER - MANY GREEN jobs to come for you and you children. Condoms for all. No more Christmas lights for bad enviorment. And dont forget to change your TV antennas and enjoy the HIGH DEF..
WISHING YOU STIMULATED,
ALL THE CONGRESS OF AMERICA
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